Things have now been set in motion which cannot be undone. Progress is being made on important fronts... well, some of them. Progress has yet to be made on others. But the relative nature of time never ceases to amaze me. I feel like I've been in stasis over the past year, but just over the past few weeks I've made more decisions and even accomplished more than I did during all of last year.
The past few weeks has been full of trials and tribs. Work has been nothing if not a challenge. Since I was informed that I am effectively being fired, I've still had to come in to this foresaken place every day and smile at the people who are screwing me over. I've mentioned to a few people that it's felt as though there's a big pink elephant in the room... and it's me. I've wasted a lot of energy being frustrated and angry. The injustice of it all! I think I'm done with the wallowing in self-pity, due in part to the fact that the logistical planning of my move has really begun and I'm making relatively good progress. I have somewhere constructive to channel my energy. But I've also given my head a shake and realized the stupidity in giving this workplace, and the people running it, any more of my energy. What a pointless exercise in self-indulgent futility. I'm better off making lemonade.
I've now decided that I am Toronto-bound. I leave October 6. I'm more than pleased to announce that I have paid the first and last months' rent (thereby securing my residence) on a room in a house with my dearest friend and her boyfriend, just a 15 minute subway ride from downtown Toronto. The plan to head to Ottawa changed when my friend informed me that she and her partner had decided to move to T.O. - the only person I knew in Ottawa is leaving Ottawa. So one thing led to another and we're movin' in. Stoked.
So now that I've got a place to live, which was my biggest concern, I'll need to begin to focus my energy on finding a job. But not just any job. I mean, don't get me wrong - I'll do any job if I need to, but I'm going to start looking for a job that I can find meaning in. I was browsing on Monster.ca and Workopolis last week, throwing resumes out at all of these admin assistant/receptionist-type jobs that I could qualify for and easily do in my sleep... and then the absurdity of moving away to do the same miserable thing I do here dawned on me. Lmao. I DON'T WANT TO WORK IN AN OFFICE AND BE SOMEBODY'S BITCH ANYMORE. Duh. And I don't have to. I qualify for unemployment. The social justice scene and the opportunities therein abound in Toronto. Amnesty, Red Cross, War Child here I come. Not to mention the fantastic community development projects in so many different areas of development that there are going on (not, of course, to diminish some of the amazing stuff going on in Winnipeg). The possibilities are endless. Stoked.
42 days. 42. In 42 days I'll be on the road with my mom and my life packed into the back of her little Honda Fit. J'arrive, Toronto.
42 is the perfect number! :D
ReplyDeleteLets do our birthday supper before you leave. Love you!
Megs, remember the conversation we had on the phone when I was still in Calgary? Don't look at the job in the 'Peg as a waste or as totally useless. Try to see how it has changed your coping skills in dealing with difficult people and situations. Perhaps, years down the road, you will be in a situation where you will see that your ability to handle it is a direct result of your experiences at the old job. Learn to love where you are at; it sounds to me like you are doing exactly that. Good on ya! Bon courage!
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